First of all, don’t do it. Get sick at home, remember? At home you can spend 50% of your time asleep, 30% of your time whining, and 20% of your time killing time on the internet. That said, you’re actually very likely to get sick at school, especially your freshman year. I don’t know whether… keep reading
Monthly Archives: January 2012
things you can do with $365.43
Buy all of your textbooks. Do work. Give it away. Make three hundred and sixty five homeless people moderately happy, or make one homeless person really happy, or thirty homeless people happier than average. Improve your home. You can buy a KOHLER Margaux 1-Spary 1-Handle Bath and Shower Faucet Trim in Vibrant Brushed Nickel. You can… keep reading
five back-up careers
Elementary school art teacher. No disrespect, but I’m pretty sure the only qualification you need is to not be a sex offender. You get to paint with little kids all day, which is probably downright exhausting, and you will always be covered in glue, but I remember the lower school art room to be one… keep reading
you have been through one or more of these phases
The Goth/Emo/Punk/whatever phase. This is the phase in which you decide you are pretty much just going to wear black from now on. You hate your suburban middle-class upbringing. You want to identify with anything that your parents don’t like. You listen to that one Evanescence song on repeat (I’M GOING UNDERRRR! DROWNING IN YOUUUU!!!… keep reading
what to do when you are in a funk
Take a nap. You can take a hopeful nap or a sad nap. A hopeful nap entails setting an alarm, turning off the lights, closing your eyes, and saying to yourself, “in 45 minutes I will be out of this funk.” A sad nap entails slowly letting your thoughts wander to every bad thing that… keep reading
how to be a good student on the first day (and then never again)
Wake up early. You’ll need at least an hour between waking up and going to breakfast (oh yes, you’ll be going to breakfast). You need to make yourself clean and shiny, first of all, but I’m not going to stress that point because I’m assuming you all have a grasp of basic hygienic concepts. Set aside at least… keep reading
it’s link thursday!
For reasons that are too complicated to explain here, I end up waving to strangers a lot of the time. Apparently, I’m making them feel better about the world, so today I’m going to stare everyone down. Being a creep for the betterment of society. #stillcreepy #prosopagnosiaproblems Heels are probably bad for your feet. But… keep reading