52 racist things about this “asian girlz” music video

  1. The typeface.
  2. The first nine notes.
  3. “You’re my asian girl,” as a refrain, in general. (It’s not like saying “Ooh my brown-eyed girl,” which is just describing the girl and one of her nice qualities. Instead, “You’re my asian girl” is basically saying “I like you because of your ethnicity and if you leave I’ll find another asian girl because you are all exotic and yet totally identical.”)
  4. The girl in the video is wearing basically exactly what I wore to a “CEOs and Office Hos” party freshman year. Except the video presents her as just a regular asian girl, acting the way all asian girls always do. Nope.
  5. “I love your sticky rice”
  6. “Butt fucking all night”
  7. “Korean barbecue, bitch”
  8. Why is the girl in the photos wearing a blonde wig? If you’re going to write a song about how much you love asian girls and all the asian things about them, why not let that girl her keep her natural hair color? Oh, because blonde hair is so pretty and glamorous, says the video’s stylist who has probably never ever thought about colonialism or white privilege or fucked up Western beauty standards now applying to everybody.
  9. “I love your creamy yellow thighs”
  10. “Ooh, your slanted eyes”
  11. “It’s the year of the dragon”
  12. “Ninja pussy I’m stabbin'” Do you mean with your penis? Is that what you mean?
  13. The girl’s bedroom is filled with “asian-looking” things, like some gold cats, a bird cage, a skull, and an uglydoll. By the way, Uglydoll is based in New Jersey.
  14. I can’t decide whether the actress’s tattoos are real (in which case, rock on) or put on for the video (in which case, what the fuck).
  15. The idea of a girl dancing around her room in lingerie for a tiny racist band in a birdcage is pretty screwed up anyway, but it becomes really racist when you consider the historical context.
  16. “Superstitious feng shui shit”
  17. Every single photo seems to have been taken in a Japanese restaurant.
  18. The girl appears to be swapping boba from her bubble tea with one of the band members. Sexy?
  19. “I brought you green tea boba”
  20. “Your mama’s so pretty”
  21. “Best nails in the city”
  22. “Pushing your daddy’s Mercedes”
  23. Paper lanterns. Everywhere.
  24. “New years in February” pretty clearly refers to the Chinese new year, but the girl in question might also be Japanese or Korean (or anything else, really) based on other references. I’m betting the guy who wrote the song either doesn’t know that “asian” isn’t just one culture, or doesn’t care.
  25. “February? That’s fine with me!” This is absurd. The whole conversation seems to be saying, “Asians live in bizarro-world. I would be basically opposed to any culture that isn’t mine, but I get to have sex with this girl, so I’ll put up with her weird asian shit! I’m so accepting!”
  26. “Shark soup. (What?? Fuck it. We’ll eat it.)” Again, this. Oh, Asian people eat such crazy things! But it’s so great to have sex with them!
  27. “Ohh, tradition tradition tradition yeah!” I want to vomit.
  28. “You’re here illegally (the best kind!) so baby marry me.” That is the most coercive thing I’ve ever heard.
  29. “Come here and sit on my lap or we’ll send you back.” Oh wait, never mind. THIS is the most coercive thing I’ve ever heard. You are now a racist rapist. Congratulations.
  30. They’re singing karaoke.
  31. “Oh you age so well, I can barely tell”
  32. “Seventeen or twenty three? Babe, it doesn’t matter to me!” Depending on the state you’re in, it might matter to the law, dude.
  33. The very idea that the girl in the video is enjoying any of this is pretty fucked up. I hope when they go swimming in the bathtub she drowns all of them.
  34. “Happy endings”
  35. “Toyota”
  36. “Spicy tuna sashimi, yeah”
  37. “Fried rice”
  38. “Sailor moon”
  39. “Wonton soup”
  40. “Spring rolls”
  41. “Thai iced tea”
  42. “Tibetan foot rub, rubbin’ down down down”
  43. “Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra”
  44. The part where dancing girl is surrounded by neon cats.
  45. “Tofu all over you”
  46. The part where the girl twirls her hair and sticks her tongue out.
  47. The “shrinking potion,” as if all asians are spooky wizards or sorcerers or something.
  48. There’s a poster of a panda on her wall.
  49. The fact that, in quantifying the racist things about this video, I’ve typed almost every single lyric.
  50. The fact that Day Above Ground had to take down the video, and now it’s up with the following description: “This is Day Above Ground reposting this video with a new description as a response to all the comments we received on this video. We appreciate all the criticism and support. Our song “Asian Girlz” was not written with any malicious, hateful, or hurtful intent. We know it is racy and does push the boundaries further than other songs out there. Understand that we do not promote or support racism or violence. We love everyone no matter what race, religion, or sexual orientation.”
  51. The fact that Day Above Ground is not a parody band, and they really think “Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra” is “pushing boundaries.”
  52. Everything.
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