60 sexist incoherent things matt forney believes

In the event that you’re confused, check out this glorious masterpiece: The Case Against Female Self-Esteem. It has made me so angry that I have literally spent an hour (which I could and should have spent at the GCB) writing this blog post. Basically, he writes that women should stop having self-esteem because it’s killing his boner. Enjoy.

  1. Women have “natural biological social functions.” Somewhere in our DNA, femininity is encoded as a series of ACGT sequences that spell out sugar and spice and everything nice.
  2. America is not currently waging a war against female self-esteem. No, America is way too woman-friendly as far as media goes.
  3. America ought to be waging a war against female self-esteem.
  4. Girls (only girls, definitely not boys, not at all) are bombarded with pro-self-esteem propaganda from childhood.
  5. We live in “a man’s world.” For some reason.
  6. “Girls should be discouraged from being confident.”
  7. “Most girls have done nothing to deserve self-esteem.”
  8. Men get respect (and self-esteem) by accomplishing things, but women expect it to just be handed to them like a free cookie.
  9. Men deserve to have self-esteem because they do important things
  10. Women don’t deserve to have self-esteem because they do unimportant things.
  11. Women’s achievements are “complete jokes.”
  12. “Having a college degree is a strike against a girl,” because it demonstrates that she thinks education is like, important or something.
  13. Women all do silly things like teach elementary school.
  14. Men do the really important things, not because of any glass ceiling, but because men are better.
  15. We are “girls,” and we want to “play” in the man’s world.
  16. We (girls) have to obey their (men’s) rules.
  17. We are “girls” or “females,” but members of the other gender are only known as “men.”
  18. A couple of guitarists on Matt Forney’s street corner provide a more useful service to society than a career-driven woman.
  19. “Insecurity is integral to femininity.”
  20. Emotional vulnerability is the same thing as fragility. This is so wrong. Vulnerability is absolutely an integral part of any real relationship between two human beings. You need to be able to be open with your partner, trusting that they won’t hurt you, even though they can. Basically, Matt Forney thinks vulnerability is the opposite of confidence.
  21. “Insecurity is the natural state of woman.” Yes, womanhood has a natural state, and that state is insecure.
  22. “Given their lack of physical strength, a woman on her own should be frightened as hell without men to protect her.” That is a direct quote. I didn’t have to embellish that one bit.
  23. There is a predetermined relationship between men and women, and any deviation from that script is backwards and wrong and leads to misery for everyone forever.
  24. Part of the male identity requires women to need them, either emotionally or materialistically.
  25. “Female insecurity is a crucial ingredient for unlocking our inner masculine instincts.” Again, I wish I’d made that up.
  26. Women should be concerned with unlocking Matt Forney’s “inner masculine instincts.”
  27. If only women looked weaker, men would look super strong! And that would give Matt Forney a boner!
  28. “Confidence doesn’t give men erections; vulnerability does.”
  29. All men get erections from the same things. (That’s why there are only three or four porn videos out there. Once they figured out what turns on the all-encompassing male hive mind, they quickly realized there was no need for any more porn, ever.)
  30. My purpose is to give Matt Forney an erection.
  31. Vulnerability and confidence are opposites.
  32. Women need to be more vulnerable than men, in relationships, because women like confident men, and men like insecure women.
  33. That’s just how it is, for everyone, forever. If you disagree, then you’re either a feminist or a manboob.
  34. Girls get mental illnesses because they deny their feminine instincts.
  35. Women have “inborn insecurity.”
  36. “The modern woman has become an emotional cripple.”
  37. Considering yourself an “equal” in the dating world is the same as viewing your partner as “a life support system for a penis.” Because I consider myself a life support system for my vagina. Hooray for equality!
  38. “Confident women are incapable of viewing men as human beings.” This is the most insane jump Forney makes. He describes a vulnerable, fragile, needy girl, and then describes a totally heartless and frankly horrible-sounding alternative. None of these people are emotionally healthy! A confident woman is not a sociopath!
  39. If women are confident and empowered, “men are nothing more than fashion items to help women show how cool or sophisticated they are.” Because a confident woman couldn’t possibly see a man as a human being.
  40. “If I’m not the center of a girl’s world, I’m not going to be in her world period.” Matt Forney literally demands to be the center of a girl’s world. Nothing else will do, because Matt Forney is so fucking special that he deserves it, as a man.
  41. “So-called confident women are as threatening as a pile of dog turds.” Matt has just described all of the horrible things a confident woman can do to a man (e.g. throwing him in the trash, exchanging him for cash and prizes, etc), but now he’s saying they’re all totally harmless, for reasons that are unclear.
  42. “Women don’t want to have high self-esteem.”
  43. Women with depression are only depressed because their lives are a total lie. Also, women with depression are “confident.” Because if there’s one quality I’d say I associate with depression, it’s confidence.
  44. Their lives are a lie because they’re being confident, and it would be better if they were weak and submissive.
  45. Women “despise their strong, independent lives.” You can tell because they take all that Prozac. You can also tell because they’re so notoriously unhappy.
  46. Women “want nothing more than for a man to throw them over his knee, shatter the Berlin Wall around their hearts, and expose the lovestruck, bashful little girl within.” I cannot even begin to comprehend this.
  47. Pick-up artists are only successful because women need insane displays of dominance to overpower their artificially confident psyches.
  48. Lana Del Rey is popular because women all want to pretend we’re all sixteen years old.
  49. Women write songs about men, because we are all totally nuts for men. Men don’t write songs about women, ever, because men are smart and women are stupid.
  50. Women need men “far more” than men need women.
  51. “Girls will all but die without masculine attention.”
  52. Rape culture is just a made-up thing that lets women feel vulnerable, because we just love feeling vulnerable. This is the part in the article where Matt Forney’s argument goes from insane to sickening. It’s not even a little bit funny.
  53. Feminists lie about rape all the time, for fun. Lying about rape is super fun.
  54. “At the end of the day, there are no Strong, Independent Women™. There are only shrews pleading for a taming.” Women are like pets. Disobedient pets.
  55. Girls don’t want a six-figure job.
  56. Girls don’t want an apartment.
  57. Girls don’t want a master’s degree.
  58. Girls don’t want sexual liberation.
  59. Girls want to be led back to the kitchen.
  60. Girls want to make Matt Forney a sandwich.
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