The Hunger Games comes out tomorrow. You need to see it. I need to see it. We all need to see it. Even if, in the words of NPR, the film is directed by “moral cowards.” I’m a little disappointed by that review, but it’s all good. I’m still going to wear my hair in braids and pretend that my boyfriend’s name is Peeta for the next week or so.

A new trend, apparently, is that of the hair necklace. You can make one if you want. If I let that many little chains near my hair, there’s no way I’m going to be able to get them out again. I can hardly put my aviators on the top of my head.

Do you want to get cancer? Of course you don’t. Cancer is just the worst. Jezebel has put together a foolproof cancer-avoidance guide. Then you’ll never get cancer and therefore never ever die.

For the Brown kids out there (i.e. most of you), I’m not going to do my own Spring Weekend coverage, but BlogDailyHerald has the rundown. And my clique make that dinero, so it’s time to meet the Fockers. I am runnin’ this bitch, you are just a dog walker.

Guys, sometimes social media is really depressing. Before you have 1,108 friends, you have zero friends, and they have to tell you somehow. There is a wonderfully bleak single purpose tumblr blog on this topic. You should maybe read it, although it might also make you sad.

You know what I find hilarious? When people complain about their cool technology. It’s hilarious how technology is still just not enough. My iphone does not load the menu of the dining hall fast enough! People don’t email me back as instantly as I feel they should! That said, iphones do a lot of things that we probably don’t even know about, like these ones. Check it out, dawg.