- Pesky boyfriend (or otherwise romantic partner) will not influence your choices. You can go to bed at four in the morning if you want to watch six episodes of Law and Order and paint your nails, and you will not think, “Oh no, boyfriend is in bed without me and I am losing an opportunity to snuggle for a while and then lie awake for half an hour because I am simply not tired.” You can take your shirt off in a game of Monopoly if it seems like the best business strategy. You no longer need to consider any other people when making decisions (I mean, you should, I guess, but being in your twenties is one of the only times that we can really be fully self-centered, sans spouse or kids etc, and we should take full advantage).
- You can flirt with sexy new people. Upon first becoming single, I thought, “Oh my gosh I will have to talk to new people I hate new people new people are way scary.” Then I realized, no, new people are pretty okay, and actually pretty fun. Flirting is the best, but it feels unethical when you’re in a relationship.
- Your love life exists totally in your head. This means that your imaginary boyfriend should never hurt you. He should just follow you around all day and sing “Everything” and “What Makes You Beautiful” in your ear because he thinks you are spectacular. Your imaginary boyfriend is your subconscious. (Someone please reassure me that this is a thing that other people do.)
- Fewer texts. Unless you have statistically-outlying loquacious friends (you know who you are), you’re going to get way fewer texts than you used to. This leads to the following thought process: “Do I have a text? No. I don’t. Why would I? Why am I checking my phone? Who would be texting me? Oh, right, him. Oh. Man, texts are nice.”
- A lot of songs suck a lot. You do not want to hear any song that has anything to do with being happily in a relationship. You also do not want to hear any song that has anything to do with being sad about a breakup. This is approximately 95% of the songs on the radio. The rest are songs about having sex with someone you just met. You don’t really want to hear that either (unless you do, in which case, rock on, no judgement). You shout at the radio, “NO, I’M SINGLE AND HAPPY SHUT UP.”
- Your friends’ lives have not stopped. If your friends are in relationships, they’re in relationships, and maybe you are jealous or maybe you are not or maybe they try to avoid the topic around you. If your friends are single, maybe they’re offended that you don’t really want to join them. Maybe you’re going on and on about the cons of being single, and the pros of being in a relationship, and they are not thrilled with this. Despite point #1, above, you still have to exist in society, which does not in fact revolve around you.
- Dates and stuff are kind of alright. I mean, a little.